Lightlessness

Have you ever woken up and felt that everything is wrong with the world? I do not feel as if I am truly living. My life feels fraught with inadequacy. There is a part of me, a lightlessness, which pervades my reality. I have tried, for years, to kill it, but it only grows all the more steadfast. I am slowly learning to accept its presence - even to revel in it at times. To the outsider, it appears as though I have everything to look forward to. Why then do I feel all the more apathetic? Is it the world that is wrong; or is it me?